Olive texted me last week to tell me this day was approaching; May 1st, the anniversary of Crystal and Angelica’s death. We both can’t believe it’s been this long, although at times it feels much, much longer.. considering how long we shall live we will be missing them for many years to come. Even though we don’t like associating this day with her, we can’t help it. Even though their birthday’s are days we like to attribute to them, today still brings terrible sadness.

WHY?

I don’t think we will ever understand fully why he took them from us. I wish he had had the courage to call us or anyone for help. I wish I could flip back the clock 5 years and one day to save them. I wish I could tell him he doesn’t want to be remembered as the demon he has become, but more the loving  grandfather he WAS. I wish he was able to see a glimmer of hope in his desperate life. How desperate must one be to shoot the loves of your life, your daughter and granddaughter, than yourself.. WHY? I will never know what he was feeling the moment his hand gripped the trigger.. I just wish I knew so that I could’ve saved them, at least Crystal and Angelica. He will forever be the despicable human being who took Crystal and Angelica away from the world. Was it worth it? I wish I knew..

We love you girls … Always in our hearts. <3<3<3