As my mom was kissing me on the forehead goodnight… Yes, I am 30 and I also nursed til I was 2…I think I might’ve just had an Aha moment. I digress. I was showing her my freshly painted finger nails telling her I would do hers tomorrow.  I found an awesome color from O.P.I called “A Grape Fit”, she digressed by showing me her hand and pointing out the finger she broke spanking one of my sister’s childhood boyfriends for trying to take their relationship to the next level… Anyway, I got to thinking about battle scars of life. I have one. I got into a car accident in Preston’s escalade while high on every drug and drink God and man created. In the process of flying over that speed bump that turned out to be a street partition I bit my bottom lip HARD! Because I was so effed up I neglected to seek medical attention hence the scar.  I will forever have a nickel sized lump squarely in the middle of my lip. Every time I put on lipstick, floss my teeth or take self-portraits I think of that accident, Preston, and that crazy weekend of hedonistic drug binging . Then I thought further than that in my abstract sort of way. What if we could MRI our emotional scars? The one’s we can’t see and most of the time forget to feel. The deepest internal scar I possess today is probably not even one that I consciously think is my deepest emotional scar. Then again, I am glad they are internal because I am of the mindset that if I don’t think about it it’s not there.

On a separate or similar note speaking of not facing my problems, I am elated to reconnect with “Bridget”, My Soul Sister, even if only by email for now. Whenever I am away from her this heavy weight lays on my soul because I know we should never not talk. I am an escape artist and a difficult friend to have when I am not coping. When I am at peak performance I am the best friend anyone could have (I kinda stole that from the Hangover)

I am going to try to get back to blogging/writing daily. Looking for an actual job right now. Wish me luck!