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Today, I got to thinking about the different roles we play in life (Mother, girlfriend, boss, mentor, student, male, female). I was once friends with this girl who got married after finding out she was pregnant to a young man from Seattle who comes from a pretty prominent family. It wasn’t until the honeymoon that her new husband let all of his demons out of the cage and began beating her to an inch of her life on a daily basis. She did not have very stable roots growing up and did not have a strong foundation to fall back on. She lost the first baby due to a severe beating she endured during the 6th month of pregnancy. She got pregnant again within the month of losing the first baby. Meanwhile, she was trapped in this wealthy, private, socially prominent family as they all sheltered her abuse to the outside world. After she had the baby, and after he abused them both she hopped on a train to her mother’s in Oregon. Of course, the custody battle quickly ensued. This family paid off judges and tortured this poor girl because her ex husband’s mother wanted the baby. The rich grandma won and she was left childless and defeated. It has been 6 years since she’s seen her child. While I have my own feelings about that I am reserving judgement to understand what it must be like to go from the role of battered housewife to single mother to alone.. How does one do that?. If you met her today you would never guess she had any children or once had a role to vastly different from the one she plays today – which is Vegas party girl,, making a dime any way she can. From what I gathered, she is not attempting t0 get her child back but does use speed as a means to keep her awake so she doesn’t have to be tortured by her dreams. As I was driving I was picturing a story she told me of her daily routine she had as a mother. Waking up before the baby to make his meals for the day so she could go to work and take him on the bus with her to childcare. I’m sure at the time that she played this role, she might have felt her own frustrations, yet when she tells it today she recalls this role with a smile on her face and a tear in her eye..

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What about the role of switching genders? My sociopathic, porn star, prostitute, transgender friend “Preston” recently got DD implants. When we were first friends he only dressed female to entertain Johns. As soon as the trick would leave he would drop his water boobs on the living room floor, take off his skirt and go back to being the role his mother so desperately wanted him to be; a boy. Preston is from the bible belt the south and has a mother that has always wanted him to fulfill a traditional role of son, husband, father, 9-5er.. As much as she voices how much she just wants him to be happy, deep down she wants the little boy she gave birth to to become all the things she dreamed he would be as an adult. Granted, she should’ve known something when he would sneak to her closet and try on her pretty dresses and hats as a tyke. She still voices to me how she thinks Preston is really straight and going through a phase and what a great husband she hopes he will make to create the grandchildren she desperately wants. For years, he has played the part, never showing mom his female persona and telling her from afar he is happy in a role he hates playing. I suppose he did enough soul searching to realize that his/her happiness is more important than faking the role he was born into. I wonder though if she is going through a certain mourning process as she departs from male and joins the rest of us miserable females.. I suppose that may be just me that is mourning Preston and not her.. I will miss him.. His female self is a bit caddy.. hopefully the adjustment process will take him out of being a junior high school girl.. anyway.. Props to her for chosing happiness.

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I have had quite a few costume changes myself, yet nothing as drastic. I will say going from the baby of the family, to straight A student, to girlfriend, to ex-girlfriend, to drug addict, to prostitute, to 9-5er, to Aunty has essentially left me “role-less”.. I am still trying to pick the right role in this game of life and mourning all the others that make one cringe.

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Has anyone ever had a major role change in life? Has it made you happier/sadder? Was it an accident or did you choose this role? Looking forward to good stories.

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